The long road ahead
by Rufus-sama
Summary: Rufus is having a hard time adjusting to life in Junon and grows tired of it. Tseng receives a call from him and finds himself racing against the clock. Warning: suicidal themes. Review please?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Same as always, don't own them, never will…damn

A/N: The italics are their thoughts. Maybe I love angst too much but I picture Rufus as a guy that is the way he is because he's had a hard life emotionally. Which means that he has a lot of angst. :-)

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When Tseng picked up his cell phone, the last thing he expected to hear was the slightly quivering voice of a young man he hadn't heard from in a while.

'Administrative research, Tseng speaking.'

'Hi Tseng. Are you busy right now? I can call back later if you are. I don't want to bother you.'

'I'm not busy at the moment. Your father has sent me orders for a new mission though. I will be leaving Monday morning and will be away for a few days. Why Rufus? Is everything alright where you are?'

Phone in hand, Rufus sat staring blankly at the floor, idly noticing that there was a small stain on it. 'Rufus? Rufus are you still there? Did something happen in Junon that I should be aware of?'

Rufus shook his head no, then mentally slapped himself for doing that. It's not like Tseng was in the same room as him, he was several hundred miles away in his office in Midgar. He unconvincingly replied 'No Tseng, everything is fine.'

Tseng didn't believe a word that he was saying.

'Are you sure Rufus? If there's anything at all bothering you, you know you can always talk to me. How are things going at school? I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call you to congratulate you on your achievement. Skipping a grade in school is something to be proud of.'

'Thank you Tseng. You're the first person to congratulate me. My old man didn't even call or send a message or do anything to acknowledge that or my existence in general. Not that I should expect something like that from him although, it would have been nice. It doesn't matter either way. I'm sorry to have disturbed you Tseng. good luck on your mission. Come back in one piece.'

Now Tseng knew something wasn't right. Rufus didn't call just to call anymore. When his father shipped him off to Junon, either he or Rufus would call the other at least once a week, if for no other reason then to touch base and say hi. Lately though, it seemed like Tseng was the one doing the calling more then Rufus did and when Rufus and Tseng talked, Rufus didn't have much to say. Before, he would tell Tseng what he did at the school he was attending in Junon or he talked about the friend he had made and what they did the night before. Now, it was more like a one-sided conversation, one that involved Tseng asking questions about Rufus and his life, if he was enjoying Junon, how Dark Nation was doing; anything that was possible to ask, Tseng asked it. Rufus usually answered Tseng's questions with either a 'yeah', 'nah' or an 'it's alright'. To have Rufus be the one to call and ask if he had the time to talk was something that Tseng took to understand that something was wrong.

'I will sir, don't worry about that. Like I always say to you, don't worry about my safety, I will be fine. It's only a little reconnaissance mission, nothing too dangerous.' Tseng decided to get to the point, obviously asking Rufus to start the conversation about what was bothering him was going nowhere.

'You didn't call me to ask me if I was going on a mission Rufus. What is bothering you? Don't say nothing is, because I know there is. Don't make me take my weekend off to go see you.' He meant that last comment as a small joke; if Rufus needed someone there with him, he wouldn't hesitate for a second.

'Nothing really Tseng. I just wanted to ask you if you would promise me something.'

Tseng was getting a little confused at this point. 'Promise you something? What do you want me to promise you? You know there isn't anything that you would ask for that, if I could do for you, I would refuse. So I am at a loss as to why you want me to promise you something.'

'Please Tseng, just tell me you promise.' Rufus seemed a bit aggravated at Tseng's unwillingness to make a promise to him and sounded equally as worried about something. Tseng didn't want to push Rufus at the moment. Whatever was bothering him, Tseng would only find out after he made his promise.

'Irrelevant as a promise may be between us, yes Rufus, I promise. Now please inform me about the promise I just made.' Sighing with relief, Rufus explained what his promise was.

'Well, I just wanted you to promise me that if something ever happens to me and I'm not around to take care of Dark Nation, that you would take care of her.'

_Take care of Dark Nation? Now I'm very confused._ Admittedly, Tseng didn't know what to reply to that. 'Rufus, nothing is going to happen to you. You're healthy; no one that would even think of going after you knows where you live in Junon. I don't have to make a promise to watch over Dark Nation, you're always going to be with her. Having me take care of Dark Nation would be pointless with you there all the time with her.'

'People don't stick around forever Tseng. Now you know what your promise is and you have to stick to it. You can't back down now. I just needed to know that someone will be here for her when I'm gone.'

Tseng was starting to get a little worried at this point. _Why is he asking me to watch her when he's gone? Maybe he's planning a trip somewhere? That's it, a trip and he can't bring her._

'Are you planning a trip Rufus? A vacation might do you good. I mean, most 16 year olds only worry about school, they don't have the extra burden of being Vice-President of a company.'

'That's just an empty title Tseng and you know it. The correct title for me should be "the paper signing poster boy of Shinra." That's all I am Tseng, someone who signs papers all day for things that aren't important at all and who has to make appearances at high-class events to impress the people there and talk about how great Shinra Inc. is. I'm not much more then that. Even my old man agrees with me. Imagine that, for once we both agree on something and it's something that involves me. Who would have thought huh?'

This was a day of firsts. The first time in a long time that Rufus called him and the first time that him and his father agreed on something. However, it was an agreement that Tseng wholeheartedly disagreed with.

'Rufus you are a lot more then a paper signing poster boy.' He heard a faint laugh on the other side.

'Funny, that's all I see. When I look in the mirror in the morning, it's all I see. When I go to the office, when the security guard looks at me, when the receptionist looks at me, hell, when my secretary looks at me, that's all any of them see. All I am to the world is a poster boy. A poster boy with a rich daddy. I'm tired of that Tseng. I'm tired of people looking at me as if everything I do represents the company. I'm tired of my father visiting me here whenever he feels like "letting off steam". Ever have those days when you think that life shouldn't be this damn hard and complicated? Didn't you ever have a day when you wanted to _do_ something about it and make it all go away?'


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same old, same old…I still don't own them.

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What Rufus was getting at was becoming clearer to Tseng as his speech went on. 'No Rufus, I haven't had a day when I wanted to make everything go away. Life isn't easy, it's supposed to be challenging. What your father did to you and does to you isn't right, we both know that, but don't give him the satisfaction of giving in. Look, I'm off this weekend and I can easily take tomorrow off. Friday is usually a slow day anyway, they won't miss me. I'm pretty much done here for the night I'm going to Junon tonight Rufus. Promise me you won't do anything before I get there alright?' He was met by silence on the other line. 'Promise me Rufus. Don't do _anything_, I'll be there in a few hours and we can talk alright? Rufus? Please?'

It seemed like an eternity before the person on the other end of the line replied. 'That might be a promise I can't keep. I'm sorry Tseng. It might be too late by the time you get here. I only called to ask you to take care of Dark Nation and to say goodbye.' Tseng was beside himself, worried about what Rufus meant by that last comment. _He's already done something to himself…_

'Rufus? You didn't do something already did you? Please tell me you didn't hurt yourself.'

'No Tseng, I didn't hurt myself. I was just a little tired and I couldn't get to sleep so I took whatever sleeping pills I had left. Heh, did you know they put warnings on the packages limiting how many to take in a day for a reason? These things get you really tired pretty quick if you take too many. It's too bad really, I don't know if I had enough of them left to get me to sleep forever. I think I have enough, but I really don't know.'

Damnit, this was the last thing he expected to have happen. The way the conversation had been going, Rufus _wanted_ to die, but seemed like he wanted someone to talk him out of it. Now, Tseng was hearing Rufus give his goodbye after possibly taking enough pills _to_ die. Cell phone still in hand, he made his way to the helicopter pad. Once he got there, he came across one of the newer Turks, Rude's partner Reno. Knowing Reno was a good pilot, Tseng gave him the order to high-tail it to Junon. Seeing that Tseng meant business, Reno took off as quickly as possible towards the city.

'What's the noise Tseng? Everything was quiet now I can barely hear you.' Relieved that he still had Rufus on the phone with him, he decided that the best way Rufus would stay awake would be if he kept talking to him.

'I'm in a helicopter, I told you I was going to Junon tonight. I'm going to be there in about an hour.' _Unless this stupid thing can go any faster_. 'You didn't believe me did you?'

'No I didn't actually. I thought you were just saying that. An hour huh? Shouldn't take you that long, it's not a terribly long helicopter ride from Midgar to Junon. Since you are coming over, I should tidy up. However, I am a bit too tired at the moment to do so though, so excuse the mess when you come by. Oh, and also please excuse the fact that you may have to let yourself into my apartment. Hopefully I'll be sleeping by then and so I will be unable to answer the door.'

To say Tseng was upset an understatement. He was not upset at what Rufus did, he was dissapointed in that. He was upset and how Rufus was joking around about the situation. 'This isn't funny Rufus and don't you dare fall asleep.' He looked at his watch; _There's still about a half-hour to go before we get there, we may be too late._

'I'm sorry Tseng, but I have to be going now. Tell Rude I said goodbye to him too. Say goodbye to that redheaded Turk I met before I left. His name was Reno wasn't it? Yeah, cool guy, tell him I said hi. Well, it's more like goodbye now and thanks for the beer. Tseng? I'm sorry. You'll forgive me someday, won't you? I'd like to know you forgive me before I die.'

Rare was it for Tseng to get scared about anything. Now he was scared he ran out of time to save Rufus from himself. 'I'm not going to answer that question because you are not going to die. Please stay awake for a few more minutes. Please Rufus, stay awake for me.' Pleading was never something Tseng was good at either, but that was the only thing he could do right now.

'I don't think I can Tseng. I'm trying, but I keep falling asleep. I'm sorry. Take good care of Dark Nation for me ok?' The line went quiet for a few moments, Tseng was afraid that he was too late and was going to recover a body, not save a life. After a few moments, a weak voice started talking again. 'Tseng? For what it's worth, thank you. For being a friend when I needed one and a father when I needed one. I hope you forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just didn't know what else to do.' The last thing Tseng heard on the other end of the line was the phone hitting the floor.

'Rufus? Rufus please answer me.' _I'm too late. So much for being there for him._ He hung up his phone and continued to stare at the phone in his hand.

'Yo Tseng-san, we're here. So, what floor is Rufus' apartment on?' Reno snapped him out of his daydreaming. Tseng jumped out of the helicopter and ran to the door to the apartment complex's stairwell.

'It's on the 14th. There's 15 stories to this building so taking the stairs is the quickest. By the way, how do you know we're here to see Rufus?'

Reno, who was right behind Tseng, gave a small laugh and replied; 'It really wasn't very hard to figure out Tseng. You used his name a few times and you told him you were coming by. By the look on your face, and the way you were talking to him, something bad happened to him and you think that either he might not be in his apartment or he'll be dead in his apartment. So, which one is it?'

_Damn, he's good. Perceptive, and good at figuring things out rather quickly. Hence why he's a Turk I suppose._ Once through the door, they went down the stairwell as quickly as they could. 'I believe the latter Reno. I've spent the past hour or so on the phone with a 16 year old who called to make me promise I'd take care of his pet if something happened to him then had him say his goodbyes. Forgive me if I'm light on details at the moment, getting Rufus to a hospital in my main priority at the moment.' Reno nodded in agreement, more to himself then to Tseng since Tseng couldn't see him and followed his boss to Rufus' apartment door. Afraid of what he might see in the apartment, Tseng hesitated for a split second before he began pounding on the door.

'Rufus? Rufus open the door!' When he received no reply he shrugged and pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. He and Reno quickly made their way into the apartment. Everything looked rather undisturbed, like no one lived in this part of the apartment.

Feeling confident in where he would find Rufus, he made his way to the master bedroom. Reno followed Tseng to the room and both men stood in the doorway temporarily shocked into place. Rufus lay on his bed, still and peaceful, bottle of pills resting on his nightstand, cell phone on the floor and a note that had barely anything written on it in his left hand. Dark Nation was laying across Rufus' legs, seemingly aware that something wasn't normal about the sleep her master was having.

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A/N: Like it? Hate it? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Same as the first two times….

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Reno was the first to break the silence. 'Oh planet, please tell me he didn't do what I think he did Tseng.'

Tseng shook himself out of his daze and ran to Rufus, gently pushing Dark Nation to the side. _Please, don't let me be too late._ Frantically, he searched the boys neck for a pulse. When he finally found it, it was very weak, almost too faint to feel.

'Reno, run up and start the helicopter, I'll carry Rufus. Move it!' Reno nearly tripped over himself in the rush to make it to the door. Tseng picked up the bottle and put it in his pocket for the doctor at the hospital and gently went and picked Rufus from the bed. Dark Nation seemed to look at Tseng with a look that was asking if Rufus woudld be alright. Tseng understood what she was feeling; he was feeling the same. 'I don't know if he'll make it girl. I hope somewhere in him he has a small will to live.' With that he ran out the door as quickly as he could, carrying Rufus to the helicopter. 'Now Reno, get us to the hospital.' Reno was in the air before Tseng had finished his sentence.

At the hospital, Rufus was looked over by the doctor on duty that night. Tseng and Reno waited patiently in the waiting room, hoping that the doctor would bring good news. About 30 minutes after their arrival, the doctor came out of the emergency room. Tseng tried to read the doctor's face, but the doctor was able to hide his emotions very well. Tseng didn't give the doctor the chance to explain Rufus' condition, he began bombarding the doctor with questions.

'Is Rufus alright? Is he going to make it? Will what he did have any negative effects on him?' The doctor waited calmly for Tseng to be done with the questioning and replied to all of his questions.

'Yes, he is fine and he will make a full recovery. No, it won't have any negative effects on his health, we managed to pump the grand majority of the pills out of his stomach before they had a chance to fully go through his bloodstream. However, he will need to speak to a counselor. Individuals that are brought to the hospital after a suicide attempt are required to get counseling before leaving.'

Tseng nodded his head towards the doctor. 'He may not agree to the counseling, however I understand it is for the best. I will try my best to make him understand that as well.'

Reno cut in 'So can we see him now?' The doctor nodded his head and showed them to his room.

'Once you go in, please be quiet. If he is sleeping let him rest. Please avoid asking him why he thought this was in his best interest. If he brings up the topic, it's alright, but don't speak to him about it in a negative way. It might appear to him as though you're upset at him for what he did and attempt it again the first chance he will be able to.' Tseng and Reno nodded to the doctor, acknowledging the rules. With that, the doctor left them at the door that they quietly opened. They found Rufus to look not much different from when they found him on his bed, although he had slightly more color in his face then he did in his apartment.

The sound of the door woke Rufus from his sleep. He opened his eyes and scanned the room around him to figure out where he was. When his eyes made their way to the side of the room that Tseng and Reno occupied, he fully realized where he was and cursed his luck.

'Damnit, you weren't supposed to make it on time. I had it planned that I would call you before I got too out of it to know what I was saying, but too late for you to make it to Junon on time. Guess I miscalculated. There's another thing I'm not good at, calculating.'

Tseng made his way to Rufus' bedside and pulled up the chair that was next to the bed. 'You forgot to add Reno to your calculations. I didn't think a helicopter could go that fast.' The room went silent for a few minutes until Rufus finally spoke up.

'You hate me now, don't you?'

Reno felt that this was a good time to make his exit. 'Ummm, yo, I'm going to go outside while you two talk. Hope you feel better soon sir.'

Neither of them really noticed him leave. Rufus was too engrossed with thinking that Tseng now hated him while Tseng was busy interpreting what Rufus just said. When what Rufus said fully hit him, Tseng moved his eyes from the point he was staring at outside the window to look directly in Rufus' eyes.

'No Rufus, I do not hate you. It's not possible for me to hate you. I had hoped that this would never happen, but somehow I had a feeling it would. I always said I would be here for you and that I would never leave you alone. Even though we're no longer in the same city, I will still hold true to my word. If you need me, I'll be there. I may not be able to be there right when you call me; unfortunately, that is not possible under the circumstances, but I will be here the first moment that I can.'

'I'm not good at anything Tseng. I can't do anything other then sign papers. There's no reason for me to still be here. None.'

Tseng sighed and began again. 'There's a lot of things you can do Rufus, you just don't see them. You're strong, you're smart, hell, your father sent you away from the main offices because of that. He didn't send you here because he wanted to give you the "best education" or whatever other excuse he gave you. He sent you here because he was threatened by you. He knows that you are a very good businessman and have people higher up that support you more then they support him. Look Rufus, I'm not saying that all your good at is running a business. You have charisma, you have the smarts, those will take you far in life. You just can't let your father win by giving up. That's what he wants and I know the last thing you want to do is let him win. This is not like you. You never give up, you usually keep going until you prove everyone wrong. What's so different this time?'

Rufus, chin leaning on his chest, listened quietly to what Tseng was saying. While Tseng didn't exactly tell him that he had a lot to live for, he did have a good point. Somewhere down the line, he'll have the company and he'll be able to prove his old man wrong and show him what he can really do. _Tseng is right, this isn't like me._ He wouldn't give in and he would definitely not do something this drastic. He shrugged his shoulders and raised his head to look Tseng in the eye.

'Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was just tired of always proving myself to everyone. I hope you can forgive me for this, I didn't mean for you to find me like that.'

'I'm glad I did. If I didn't, I'd be watching a casket getting lowered into the ground right now.'

At that comment, Rufus looked away from Tseng, a light color appearing on his face. 'The idea of my funeral never occurred to me. I didn't think that anyone would really miss me enough to make a huge deal out of it. Thank you for proving me wrong.' Rufus smiled up at Tseng, the first real smile he had in a while.

'Of course I would have missed you Rufus. I know of some other people that would miss you as well.'

'I didn't think there would have been more then one person at the funeral. I guess you're saying that there would be a few more then that?'

'Yes sir, a lot more then just one.'

Rufus smiled a bit to himself, feeling slightly happier then he was before knowing that other people care about him. 'So Tseng? Can I leave now? I'm awake and I feel fine.'

'Unfortunately you can't leave now Rufus. You have to speak with a counsillor before you can be released. It's a rule of the hospital apparently.'

Rufus sighed at the news. 'Somehow I'm not surprised with that. Do you know when I'll be able to leave if I can't leave now?'

'Tomorrow afternoon sir.' They both jumped at the new voice that entered the room. Neither one of them heard Reno open the door. 'Sorry for scaring you two, but I asked the doctor when you could leave and he said probably then, depending on what the counsellor says.' Rufus looked a bit impatient, he wanted to go home and try to fix the mistake that he'd done anyway he could.

'Well? Where's the counsellor then? Are they here now? Or just in the morning?'

'She's right outside the door sir. I just came in to let you know that.' Tseng nodded his head towards Reno, then turned to Rufus.

'I believe that is my queue to leave. Reno and I will head back to your apartment and check on Dark Nation. Is that alright with you?'

'Yes, that's fine with me.' Tseng turned and made his way to the door. As he was walking out the door, he heard Rufus quietly calling after him.

'Tseng? If it's not too much trouble for you, do you think you'd be able to come by tomorrow, to take me home and maybe spend the night? I don't want to be alone.' Tseng turned to Rufus and bowed his head.

'Of course I will Rufus. I will be more then happy to do that.' Rufus seemed relieved at Tseng's acceptance to come get him.

'Thank you. And Tseng?'

'Yes Rufus?'

'Thank you. For keeping your promise.'

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A/N: Good or bad reviews are welcome.


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